2023年6月24日发(作者：)

Love is a fallacy

Charles Lamb, as merry and enterprising a

fellow as you will meet in a month of Sundays,

unfettered① the informal essay with his memorable

Old China and Dream's Children. There follows an

informal essay that ventures even beyond Lamb's

frontier②. Indeed, "informal" may not be quite the

right word to describe this essay; "limp③" or

"flaccid④" or possibly "spongy" are perhaps more

appropriate.

Vague⑤ though its category, it is without doubt

an essay. It develops an argument; it cites

instances; it reaches a conclusion. Could Carlyle

do more? Could Ruskin?

Read, then, the following essay which

undertakes to demonstrate that logic, far from

being a dry, pedantic⑥ discipline, is a living,

breathing thing, full of beauty, passion, and

trauma⑦.

①unfetter [ʌnˈfɛtɚ] v.解放

②frontier [ˈfrʌnˌtiə] n.国界,边界,边境

③limp adj.柔软的

④flaccid [ˈflæksɪd] adj.软弱的,松弛的,不结实的

⑤vague [veɪg] adj.模糊的；（思想上）不清楚的；（表达或感知）含糊的；暧昧的

⑥pedantic [pəˈdæntɪk] adj.卖弄学问的；学究式的，迂腐的；卖弄笔墨

⑦trauma [ˈtraʊmə] n.创伤（由心理创伤造成精神上的异常）；损伤；痛苦经历；挫折

爱情是个谬论

查尔斯．兰姆是一个世所罕见的性情欢快、富有进取心的人，他那笔下的散文《古瓷器》和《梦中的孩子》无拘无束、自由奔放。实在令人难忘。下面这篇文章比兰姆的作品更加自由奔放。实际上，用“自由奔放”的字眼来形容这篇文章并不十分确切，或许用“柔软”、“轻松”或“轻软而富有弹性”更为恰如其分。

尽管很难说清这篇文章是属于哪一类，但可以肯定它是一篇散文小品文。它提出了论点。引用了许多例证，并得出了结论。卡菜尔能写得更好吗?罗斯金呢?

这篇文章意在论证逻辑学非但不枯燥乏味而且活泼、清新、富于关感和激情，并给人以启迪。诸位不妨一读。

----Author's Note

Cool was I and logical. Keen, calculating,

perspicacious①, acute and astute—I was all of

these. My brain was as powerful as a dynamo②,

precise as a chemist’s scales, as penetrating as

a scalpel③. And—think of it!—I only eighteen.

It is not often that one so young has such a

giant intellect. Take, for example, Petey Bellows,

my roommate at the university. Same age,same

background, but dumb as an ox. A nice enough fellow,

you understand, but nothing upstairs④. Emotional

type. Unstable. Impressionable. Worst of all, a

faddist. Fads, I submit, are the very negation of

reason. To be swept up in every new craze that comes

along, to surrender oneself to idiocy just because

everybody else is doing it—this, to me, is the acme⑤ of mindlessness. Not, however, to Petey.

One afternoon I found Petey lying on his bed

with an expression of such distress on his face that

①perspicacious [ˌpə:spɪˈkeʃəs]

adj.有洞察力的，判断力强的，有识别力的

②dynamo [ˈdaɪnəˌmo] n.精力充沛的人；[物]发电机

③scalpel [ˈskælpəl] n.外科手术刀

④nothing upstairs没头脑的，愚笨的

⑤acme [ˈækmi] n.最高点，顶点，极点；极盛时期

——作者注

我这个人头脑冷静，逻辑思维能力强。敏锐、慎重、聪慧、深刻、机智一一这些就是我的特点。我的大脑像发电机一样发达，孳化学家的天平一样精确，像手术刀一样锋利。一一你知道吗?我才十八岁呀。

年纪这么轻而智力又如此非凡的人并不常有。就拿在明尼苏达大学跟我同住一个房间的皮蒂·伯奇来说吧，他跟我年龄相仿经历一样，可他笨得像头驴。小伙子长得年轻漂亮，可惜脑子里却空空如也。他易于激动，情绪反复无常，容易受别人的影响。最糟的是他爱赶时髦。我认为，赶时髦就是最缺乏理智的表现。见到一种新鲜的东西就跟着学，以为别人都在那么干，自己也就卷进去傻干——这在我看来，简直愚蠢至极，但皮蒂却不以为然。

一天下午我看见皮蒂躺在床上，脸上显露出一种痛苦不堪的表情，我立刻断定他是得了阑尾炎。“别动，”我说，“别吃泻药，我I immediately diagnosed appendicitis①. “Don’t

move,” I said, “Don’t take a laxative. I’ll get

a doctor.”

“Raccoon,” he mumbled② thickly.

“Raccoon?” I said, pausing in my flight.

“I want a raccoon coat,” he wailed.

I perceived that his trouble was not physical,

but mental. “Why do you want a raccoon coat?”

“I should have known it,” he cried, pounding

his temples. “I should have known they’d come back

when the Charleston came back. Like a fool I spent

all my money for textbooks, and now I can’t get a

raccoon coat.”

“Can you mean,” I said incredulously③,

“that people are actually wearing raccoon coats

again?”

①appendicitis [əˌpɛndɪˈsaɪtɪs] n.阑尾炎

②mumble [ˈmʌmbəl] vt.& vi.咕哝；抿着嘴嚼

③incredulously [ɪnˈkrɛdʒələslɪ]

adv.不相信地，怀疑地

就请医生来。”

“浣熊，”他咕哝着说。

“浣熊?”我停下来问道。

“我要一件浣熊皮大衣，”他痛苦地哭叫着。

我明白了，他不是身体不舒服，而是精神上不太正常。“你为什么要浣熊皮大衣?”

“我本早该知道，”他哭叫着，用拳头捶打着太阳穴，“我早该知道查尔斯登舞再度流行时，浣熊皮大衣也会时兴起来的。我真傻，钱都买了课本，可现在不能买浣熊皮大衣了。”

我带着怀疑的眼神问道：“你是说人们真的又要穿浣熊皮大衣吗?”

“All the Big Men on Campus are wearing them.

Where’ve you been?”

“In the library,” I said, naming a place not

frequented by Big Men on Campus.

He leaped from the bed and paced the room.

“I’ve got to have a raccoon coat,” he said

passionately. “I’ve got to!”

“Petey, why? Look at it rationally. Raccoon

coats are unsanitary①. They shed. They smell bad.

They weigh too much. They’re unsightly. They—”

“You don’t understand,” he interrupted

impatiently. “It’s the thing to do. Don’t you

want to be in the swim②?”

“No,” I said truthfully.

①unsanitary [ʌnˈsænɪˌtɛri] adj.不卫生的，有碍健康的

②in the swim 赶时髦

“校园里有身分的人哪个不穿?你刚从哪儿来?”

“图书馆，”我说了一个有身分的人不常去的地方。

他从床上一跃而起，在房间里踱来踱去。“我一定要弄到一件浣熊皮大衣，”他激动地说，“非弄到不可!”

“皮蒂，你怎么啦?冷静地想一想吧，浣熊皮大衣不卫生，掉毛，味道难闻，既笨重又不好看，而且……

“你不懂，”他不耐烦地打断我的话。“这就叫时髦。难道你不想赶时髦吗?”

“不想，”我坦率地回答。

“好啦，我可想着呢!”他肯定地说。“只要有浣熊皮大衣，要我什么我都给，什么都行!”

我的大脑一一这件精密的仪器一一即

“Well, I do,” he declared. “I’d give

anything for a raccoon coat. Anything!”

My brain, that precision instrument, slipped

into high gear. “Anything?” I asked, looking at

him narrowly.

“Anything,” he affirmed in ringing tones.

I stroked my chin① thoughtfully. It so

happened that I knew where to get my hands on a

raccoon coat. My father had had one in his

undergraduate days; it lay now in a trunk in the

attic back home. It also happened that Petey had

something I wanted. He didn’t

have it exactly,

but at least he had first rights on it. I refer to

his girl, Polly Espy.

I had long coveted Polly Espy. Let me emphasize

that my desire for this young woman was not

emotional in nature. She was, to be sure, a girl who

excited the emotions, but I was not one to let my

heart rule my head. I wanted Polly for a shrewdly②

calculated, entirely cerebral reason.

I was a freshman in law school. In a few years

I would be out in practice. I was well aware of the

①chin [tʃɪn] n.（尤指人的）颏，下巴

②shrewdly [ʃruːdli]adv. 机灵的

cerebral[ˈsɛrəbrəl, səˈri-] adj.大脑的；脑的；理智的；非感情方面的

刻运转起来。我仔细地打量着他，问道：“什么都行?”

“什么都行!”他斩钉截铁地说。

我若有所思地抚着下巴。好极了，我知道哪儿能弄到浣熊皮大衣。我父亲在大学读书时就穿过一件，现在还放在家里顶楼的箱子里。恰好皮蒂也有我需要的东西。尽管他还没有弄到手，但至少他有优先权。我说的是他的女朋友波利.埃斯皮。

我早已钟情于波利埃斯皮了。我要特别说明的是，我想得到这妙龄少女并不是由于感情的驱使。她确实是个易于使人动情的姑娘。可我不是那种让感情统治理智的人，我想得到波利是经过了慎重考虑的，完全是出于理智上的原因。

我是法学院一年级的学生，过不了几年就要挂牌当律师了。我很清楚，一个合适的妻子对一个律师的前途来说是非常重要的。importance of the right kind of wife in furthering

a lawyer’s career. The successful lawyers I had

observed were, almost without exception, married to

beautiful, gracious, intelligent women. With one

omission, Polly fitted these specifications

perfectly.

Beautiful she was. She was not yet of pin-up

proportions, but I felt that time would supply the

lack. She already had the makings.

Gracious she was. By gracious I mean full of

graces. She had an erectness① of carriage, an ease

of bearing, a poise that clearly indicated the best

of breeding. At table her manners were exquisite②.

I had seen her at the Kozy Kampus Korner eating the

specialty of the house—a sandwich that contained

scraps of pot roast, gravy, chopped nuts, and a

dipper of sauerkraut—without even getting her

fingers moist.

Intelligent she was not. In fact, she veered③ in the opposite direction. But I believed that

①erectness n.直立

②exquisite [ɪkˈskwɪzɪt] adj.精致的；细腻的；优美的；剧烈的

③veer vi.（尤指交通工具）改变方向或路线；（指谈话内容、人的行为或观点）突然改变；（指风）（在北半球按顺时针方向、在南半球按逆时针方向）我发现大凡有成就的律师几乎都是和美丽、文雅、聪明的女子结婚的。波利只差一条就完全符合这些条件了。

她漂亮。尽管她的身材还没有挂在墙上的美女照片那么苗条，但我相信时间会弥补这个不足。她已经大致不差了。

她温文尔雅——我这里是指她很有风度。她婷婷玉立，落落大方，泰然自若，一眼就看得出她很有教养。她进餐时，动作是那样的优美。我曾看见过她在“舒适的校园之角”吃名点——一块夹有几片带汁的炖肉和碎核桃仁的三明治，还有一小杯泡菜——手指儿一点儿也没有沾湿。

她不聪明，实际上恰好相反。但我相信有我的指导，她会变得聪明的。无论如何可under my guidance she would smarten up. At any rate,

it was worth a try. It is, after all, easier to make

a beautiful dumb girl smart than to make an ugly

smart girl beautiful.

“Petey,” I said, “are you in love with Polly

Espy?”

“I think she’s a keen kid,” he replied, “but

I don’t know if you’d call it love. Why?”

“Do you,” I asked, “have any kind of formal

arrangement with her? I mean are you going steady① or anything like that?”

“No. We see each other quite a bit, but we both

have other dates. Why?”

“Is there,” I asked, “any other man for whom

she has a particular fondness?”

“Not that I know of. Why?”

I nodded with satisfaction. “In other words,

if you were out of the picture②, the field would

逐渐转向；风向顺时针转

①go steady: 约会，成为关系确定的情侣

②out of the picture不相干的，不合以试一试，使一个漂亮的笨姑娘变得聪明比使一个聪明的丑姑娘变得漂亮毕竟要容易些。

“皮蒂，”我说，“你在跟波利谈恋爱吧?”

“我觉得她是一个讨人喜欢的姑娘，”他回答说，“但我不知道这是不是就叫做爱情。你问这个干吗?”

“你和她有什么正式的安排吗?我是说你们是不是常有约会，或者有诸如此类的事情?”我问。

“没有，我们常常见面。但我们俩各自有别的约会。你问这个干嘛?”

“还有没有别人使她特别喜欢呢?”我问道。

“那我可不知道。你问这些干吗?”

我满意地点点头说：“这就是说。如果你be open. Is that right?”

“I guess so. What are you getting at?”

“Nothing, nothing,” I said innocently, and

took my suitcase out the closet.

“Where are you going?” asked Petey.

“Home for weekend.” I threw a few things into

the bag.

“Listen,” he said, clutching my arm eagerly,

“while you’re home, you couldn’t get some money

from your old man, could you, and lend it to me so

I can buy a raccoon coat?”

“I may do better than that,” I said with a

mysterious wink and closed my bag and left.

“Look,” I said to Petey when I got back Monday

morning. I threw open the suitcase and revealed the

huge, hairy, gamy object that my father had worn in

适的

不在，场地就是空着的。你说是吗?”

“我想是这样。你这话是什么意思?”

“没什么，没什么，”我若无其事地说，接着把手提皮箱从壁橱里拿了出来。

“你去哪儿?”皮蒂问。

“回家过周末。”我把几件衣服扔进了提箱。

“听着，”他焦急的抓住我的胳膊说，“你回家后，从你父亲那儿弄点钱来借给我买一件浣熊皮大衣，好吗?”

“也许不仅只是这样呢。”我神秘地眨着眼睛说，随后关上皮箱就走了。

星期一上午我回到学校时对皮蒂说：“你瞧!”我猛地打开皮箱，那件肥大、毛茸茸、散发着怪味的东西露了出来，这就是我父亲1925年在施图茨比尔凯特汽车里穿过的那一his Stutz Bearcat in 1925.

“Holy Toledo!” said Petey reverently. He

plunged① his hands into the raccoon coat and then

his face. “Holy Toledo!” he repeated fifteen or

twenty times.

“Would you like it?” I asked.

“Oh yes!” he cried, clutching the greasy②

pelt to him. Then a canny look came into his eyes.

“What do you want for it?”

“Your girl.” I said, mincing③ no words.

“Polly?” he said in a horrified whisper.

“You want Polly?”

“That’s right.”

He flung④ the coat from him. “Never,” he said

stoutly.

I shrugged. “Okay. If you don’t want to be in

the swim, I guess it’s your business.”

I sat down in a chair and pretended to read a

①plunge [plʌndʒ] vt.用力插入；使陷入

②greasy [ˈɡrisi] adj.油腻的；谄媚的；含脂肪多的

③mince vt. 委婉的说

④flung v.（尤指生气地）扔( fling的过去式和过去分词 )；猛动（身体或身体部位）；粗暴地（向某人）说；气势汹汹地（对某人）说

件浣熊皮大衣。

“太好了!”皮蒂恭敬的说。他把两只手插进那件皮大衣，然后把头也埋了进去。“太好啦!”他不断地重复了一二十遍。

“你喜欢吗?”我问道。

“哦，喜欢!”他高声叫着，把那满是油腻的毛皮紧紧地搂在怀里。接着他眼里露出机警的神色，说着：“你要什么换呢?”

“你的女朋友，”我毫不讳言地说。

“波利?”他吃惊了，结结巴巴地说，“你要波利?”

“是的。”

他把皮大衣往旁一扔，毫不妥协的说：“那可不行。”

我耸了耸肩膀说：“好吧，如果你不想赶时髦，那就随你的便好了。”

我在一把椅子上坐了下来，假装读书，book, but out of the corner of my eye I kept watching

Petey. He was a torn man. First he looked at the coat

with the expression of a waif① at a bakery window.

Then he turned away and set his jaw resolutely. Then

he looked back at the coat, with even more longing

in his face. Then he turned away, but with not so

much resolution this time. Back and forth his head

swiveled②, desire waxing, resolution waning.

Finally he didn’t turn away at all; he just stood

and stared with mad lust at the coat.

①waif [wef] n.无家可归的人；流浪儿；无主的东西或动物；（海上）漂流物

②swivel [ˈswɪvəl] vt.& vi.（使）旋转；在枢轴上转动；（把身子或脸等）转向另一方；转身

“It isn’t as though I was in love with

Polly,” he said thickly. “Or going steady or

anything like that.”

“That’s right,” I murmured.

“What’s Polly to me, or me to Polly?”

“Not a thing,” said I.

“It’s just been a casual kick—just a few

laughs, that’s all.”

“Try on the coat,” said I.

vi.遵从；依从，顺从；应允，He complied③. The coat bunched high over his

③comply

暗暗地瞟着皮蒂。他神情不安，用面包店窗前的流浪儿那种馋涎欲滴的神情望着那件皮大衣，接着扭过头去，坚定地咬紧牙关。过了一会儿，他又回过头来把目光投向那件皮大衣，脸上露出更加渴望的神情。等他再扭过头去，已经不那么坚决了。他看了又看，越看越爱，慢慢地决心也就减弱了。最后他再也不扭过头去，只是站在那儿，贪婪地盯着那件皮大衣。

“我和波利好像不是在谈恋爱，”他含含糊糊地说。“也说不上经常约会或有诸如此类的事情。”

“对的，”我低声地说。

“波利对我算得了什么?我对波利又算得了什么?”

“只不过是一时高兴-----不过是说说笑笑罢了，如此而已。”

“试试大衣吧。”我说

他照办了。衣领蒙住了他的耳朵，下摆ears and dropped all the way down to his shoe tops.

同意

He looked like a mound of dead raccoons. “Fits

fine,” he said happily.

I rose from my chair. “Is it a deal?” I asked,

extending my hand.

He swallowed. “It’s a deal,” he said and

shook my hand.

I had my first date with Polly the following

evening. This was in the nature of a survey; I wanted

to find out just how much work I had to do to get

her mind up to the standard I required. I took her

first to dinner. “Gee, that was a delish dinner,”

she said as we left the restaurant. Then I took her

to a movie. “Gee, that was a marvy movie,” she said

as we left the theatre. And then I took her home.

“Gee, I had a sensaysh time,” she said as she bade① me good night.

I went back to my room with a heavy heart. I had

gravely underestimated② the size of my task. This

girl’s lack of information was terrifying. Nor

would it be enough merely to supply her with

information. First she had to be taught to

think.

①bade v.说（问候话）

②underestimate [ˌʌndɚˈɛstəmet] vt.低估；对…估计不足；看轻；把…的价值估计过低

一直拖到脚跟。他看起 来活像一具浣熊尸体。他高兴地说：“挺合身的。”

“我从椅子上站了起来。“成交了吗?”我说着，把手伸向他。

他轻易地接受了。“算数．”他说，并跟我握了握手。

第二天晚上，我与波利第一次约会了。这一次实际上是我对她的考察。我想弄清要作多大的努力才能使她的头脑达到我的要求。我首先请她去吃饭。“哈，这顿饭真够意思，”离开餐馆时她说。然后我请她去看电影。“嘿，这片子真好看，”走出影院时她说。最后我送她回家。和我道别时她说：“嘿，今晚玩得真痛快。”

我带着不大痛快的心情回到了房间。我对这任务的艰巨性估计得太低了。这姑娘的知识少得叫人吃惊。只是给她增加知识还不This loomed as a project of no small dimensions①,

and at first I was tempted to give her back to Petey.

But then I got to thinking about her abundant

physical charms and about the way she entered a room

and the way she handled a knife and fork, and I

decided to make an effort.

I went about it, as in all things,

systematically. I gave her a course in logic. It

happened that I, as a law student, was taking a

course in logic myself, so I had all the facts at

my fingertips②. “Poll’,” I said to her when I

picked her up on our next date, “tonight we are

going over to the Knoll and talk.”

“Oo, terrif,” she replied. One thing I will

say for this girl: you would go far③ to find another

so agreeable.

We went to the Knoll, the campus trysting④

place, and we sat down under an old oak, and she

looked at me expectantly. “What are we going to

①dimension n.尺寸；[复]面积，范围；[物]量纲；[数]次元，度，维

②have ... at one’s finger tips: 精通

③go far 成功，大有前途

④tryst [trɪst] n. 约会；幽会

够，首先得教她学会思考。这可不是一件容易的事，当时我真想把她还给皮蒂算了。但我一想到她那充满魅力的身材，她那进屋时的模样，她那拿刀叉的姿式，我还是决定再作一番努力。

就像做其他的事情一样，我开始有计划地干了起来。我开始给她上逻辑课。幸好我是一个学法律的学生，我自己也正在学逻辑学，所以对要教的内容我都很熟悉。当我接她赴第二次约会时，我对她说：“今晚上咱们去‘小山’谈谈吧”。

“啊，好极了，”她回答道。对这姑娘我要补充一句的是，像她这么好商量的人是不多见的。

我们去了“小山”，这是校园里人们幽会的地方。我们坐在一棵老橡树下，她用期待的眼神看着我。“我们谈些什么呢?”她问。

talk about?” she asked.

“Logic.”

She thought this over for a minute and decided

she liked it. “Magnif,” she said.

“Logic,” I said, clearing my throat, “is the

science of thinking. Before we can think correctly,

we must first learn to recognize the common

fallacies of logic. These we will take up tonight.”

“Wow-dow!” she cried, clapping her hands

delightedly.

I winced①, but went bravely on. “First let us

examine the fallacy called Dicto Simpliciter.”

①wince [wɪns] v. (因疼痛、窘迫等)畏缩；退缩

“逻辑学。”

她想了一会儿，觉得不错，便说：“好极了。”

“逻辑学，”我清了清嗓了，“就是思维的科学。在我们能正确地思维之前，首先必须学会判别逻辑方面的常见谬误。我们今晚就要来谈谈这些。”

“哇!”她叫了起来，高兴地拍着手。

我打了个寒噤，但还是鼓足勇气讲下去：“首先我们来考究一下被称为绝对判断的谬误。”

“好呀!”她眨了眨眼，催促着。

“绝对判断指的是根据一种无条件的前提推出的论断。譬如说，运动是有益的，因此人人都要运动。”

“By all means,” she urged, batting her lashes

eagerly.

“Dicto Simpliciter② means an argument based

on an unqualified generalization. For example:

Exercise is good. Therefore everybody should

②Dicto Simpliciter：绝对判断

exercise.”

“I agree,” said Polly earnestly. “I mean

exercise is wonderful. I mean it builds the body and

everything.”

“Polly,” I said gently, “the argument is a

fallacy.

Exercise is good is an unqualified

generalization. For instance, if you have heart

disease, exercise is bad, not good. Many people are

ordered by their doctors

not to exercise. You

must

qualify the generalization. You must say

exercise is

usually good, or exercise is

good

for most people. Otherwise you have committed

a Dicto Simpliciter. Do you see?”

“No,” she confessed. “But this is marvy. Do

more! Do more!”

“It will be better if you stop tugging① at my

sleeve,” I told her, and when she desisted, I

continued. “Next we take up a fallacy called Hasty

Generalization②. Listen carefully: You can’t

①tug [tʌɡ] v. 用力拉，拖，拖曳

desist [dɪˈsɪst, -ˈzɪst] v. 停止

②Hasty Generalization：草率结

“不错，”波利认真地说，“运动是非常有益的，它能增强体质，好处太多了!”

“波利，”我温和地说，“这种论点是谬误。运动有益是一种无条件的前提。比方说，假设你得了心脏病，运动不但无益，反而有害，有不少人医生就不准他们运动。你必须给这种前提加以限制。你应该说，一般来说运动是有益的。或者说，对大多数人是有益的。否则就是犯了绝对判断的错误，懂吗?”

“不懂，”她坦率地说。“这可太有意思了，讲吧!往下讲吧!”

“你最好别拉我袖子了，”我对她说。等她松了手，我继续讲：“下面我们讲一种被称为草率结论的谬误。你仔细听：你不会讲法语，我不会讲法语，皮蒂也不会讲法语。因speak French. Petey Bellows can’t speak French. I

论

must therefore conclude that nobody at the

University of Minnesota can speak French.”

“Really?” said Polly, amazed. “Nobody?”

I hid my exasperation. “Polly, it’s a

fallacy. The generalization is reached too hastily.

There are too few instances to support such a

conclusion.”

“Know any more fallacies?” she asked

breathlessly. “This is more fun than dancing

even.”

I fought off a wave of despair. I was getting

nowhere with this girl, absolutely nowhere. Still,

I am nothing if not persistent. I continued. “Next

comes Post Hoc①. Listen to this: Let’s not take

Bill on our picnic. Every time we take him out with

us, it rains.”

“I know somebody just like that,” she

exclaimed. “A girl back home—Eula Becker, her

此我就会断定在明尼苏达大学谁也不会讲法语。”

“真的?”波利好奇的问道，“谁也不会吗?”

我压住火气。“波利，这是一种谬误，这是一种草率的结论。能使这种结论成立的例证太少了。”

“你还知道其他的谬误吗?”她气喘吁吁地说：“这真比跳舞还有意思啦!”

我极力地使自己不灰心。我真拿这姑娘没办法，的确是毫无办法。可是，如果我不坚持下去，我就太没有用了。因此，我继续讲下去。“现在听我讲讲‘牵强附会’的谬误。听着：我们不要带比尔出去野餐。每次带他一起去，天就下雨。”

“我就见过这样的人，”她感叹地说。“我们家乡有个女孩，名叫尤拉·蓓克尔。从没

①Post Hoc：假性因果

name is. It never fails. Every single time we take

her on a picnic—”

有例外，每次我们带她去野餐……”

“波利，”我严厉地说，“这是一种谬误。下雨并不是尤拉蓓克尔造成的，下雨与她没有任何关系。如果你责怪尤拉·蓓克尔，你就是犯了牵强附会的错误。”

“我再也不这样了，”她懊悔地保证说。“你生我的气了吗?”

我深深地叹了一口气：“不，波利，我没生气。”

“那么，给我再讲些谬误吧!”

“好，让我们来看看矛盾前提吧。”

“行，行，”她叽叽喳喳地叫着，两眼闪现出快乐的光芒。

我皱了皱眉头，但还是接着讲下去。“这里有一个矛盾前提的例子：如果上帝是万能的，他能造出一块连他自己也搬不动的大石

“Polly,” I said sharply, “it’s a fallacy.

Eula Becker doesn’t

cause the rain. She has no

connection with the rain. You are guilty of Post Hoc

if you blame Eula Becker.”

“I’ll never do it again,” she promised

contritely①. “Are you mad at me?”

①contrite [kənˈtraɪt, ˈkɑnˌtraɪt] adj.

I sighed. “No, Polly, I’m not mad.”

懊悔的；忏悔的

“Then tell me some more fallacies.”

“All right. Let’s try Contradictory Premises

②.”

②premise [ˈprɛmɪs] n. (尤指逻辑)前“Yes, let’s,” she chirped③, blinking her

提

③chirp [tʃə:p] v. 嘁嘁喳喳地说

eyes happily.

I frowned, but plunged ahead. “Here’s an

example of Contradictory Premises④: If God can do

anything, can He make a stone so heavy that He won’t

④Contradictory Premises：矛盾头吗?” be able to lift it?”

“Of course,” she replied promptly.

“But if He can do anything, He can lift the

stone,” I pointed out.

“Yeah,” she said thoughtfully. “Well, then

I guess He can’t make the stone.”

“But He can do anything,” I reminded her.

She scratched her pretty, empty head. “I’m

all confused,” she admitted.

“Of course you are. Because when the premises

of an argument contradict each other, there can be

no argument. If there is an irresistible force,

there can be no immovable object. If there is an

immovable object, there can be no irresistible

force. Get it?”

“Tell me more of this keen stuff,” she said

eagerly.

前提

“当然能，”她毫不犹豫地回答道。

“但是如果他是万能的，他就能搬动那块石头呀，”我提醒她。

“是嘛!”她若有所思地说，“嗯，我想他造不出那样的石头。”

“但他是万能的啊，”我进一步提醒她。

她用手抓了抓她那漂亮而又空虚的脑袋。“我全搞糊涂了，”她承认说。

“你确实糊涂了。因为一种论点的各个前提相互问是矛盾的，这种论点就不能成立。如果有一种不可抗拒的力量．就不可能有一种不可移动的物体；如果有一种不可移动的物体，就不可能有一种不可抗拒的力量。懂吗?”

“再给我讲些这类新奇的玩意儿吧，”她恳切地说。

I deposited① her at the girls’ dormitory,

where she assured me that she had had a perfectly

①deposit [dɪˈpɑzɪt] v. 放下，搁下

terrif evening, and I went glumly② home to my room.

I consulted my watch. “I think we’d better

call it a night. I’ll take you home now, and you

go over all the things you’ve learned. We’ll have

another session tomorrow night.”

我看了看表，说：“我想今晚就谈到这里。我现在该送你回去了。你把所学的东西复习一遍，我们明晚上再来上一课吧。”

我把她送到了女生宿舍，在那里她向我保证说这个晚上她过得非常痛快。我闷闷不乐地回到了我的房间，皮蒂正鼾声如雷地睡在床上。那件浣熊皮大衣像一头多毛的野兽扒在他的脚边。我当时真想把他叫醒，告诉他可以把他的女朋友要回去。看来我的计划会要落空了。这姑娘对逻辑简直是一点儿都不开窍。

但是我回过头一想，既然已经浪费了一个晚上，不妨还是再花一个晚上看看。天晓得，说不定她头脑里的死火山口中的什么地方，还有些火星会喷射出来呢。也许我会有办法能把这些火星扇成熊熊烈焰。当然，成功的希望是不大的，但我还是决定再试一次。

第二天晚上我们又坐在那棵橡树下，我说：“今晚上我们要谈的第一种谬误叫做文不对题。”

Petey lay snoring in his bed, the raccoon coat

huddled like a great hairy beast at his feet. For

a moment I considered waking him and telling him

that he could have his girl back. It seemed clear

that my project was doomed to failure. The girl

simply had a logic-proof head.

②glum [ɡlʌm] adj. 忧郁的，闷闷不乐的

③smolder[ˈsmoldɚ] v. 闷烧；熏烧

But then I reconsidered. I had wasted one

evening; I might as well waste another. Who knew?

Maybe somewhere in the extinct crater of her mind

a few members still smoldered③. Maybe somehow I

could fan them into flame. Admittedly it was not a

prospect fraught④ with hope, but I decided to give

it one more try.

④fraught [frɔt] adj. 充满…的；蕴Seated under the oak the next evening I said,

“Our first fallacy tonight is called Ad

含…的

Misericordiam①.”

She quivered with delight.

“Listen closely,” I said. “A man applies for

a job. When the boss asks him what his

qualifications are, he replies that he has a wife

and six children at home, the wife is a helpless

cripple, the children have nothing to eat, no

clothes to wear, no shoes on their feet, there are

no beds in the house, no coal in the cellar, and

winter is coming.”

A tear rolled down each of Polly’s pink cheeks.

“Oh, this is awful, awful,” she sobbed.

“Yes, it’s awful,” I agreed, “but it’s no

argument. The man never answered the boss’s

question about his qualifications. Instead he

appealed to the boss’s sympathy. He committed the

fallacy of Ad Misericordiam. Do you understand?”

“Have you got a handkerchief?” she blubbered②.

①Ad Misericordiam：文不对题

②blubber [ˈblʌbɚ] v. (小孩般)大声哭

I handed her a handkerchief and tried to keep

她高兴得都发抖了。

“注意听，”我说。“有个人申请工作，当老板问他所具备的条件时，他回答说他家有妻子和六个孩子。妻子完全残废了，孩子们没吃的，没穿的，睡觉没有床，生火没有煤，眼看冬天就要到了。”

两滴眼泪顺着波利那粉红的面颊往下滚。“啊，这太可怕了!太可怕了!”她抽泣着说。

“是的，是太可怕了，”我同意地说。“但这可不成其为申请工作的理由。那人根本没有回答老板提出的关于他的条件的间题，反而祈求老板的同情。他犯了文不对题的错误。你懂吗!”

“你带手帕了没有?”她哭着说

我把手帕递给她。当她擦眼泪时，我极from screaming while she wiped her eyes. “Next,”

I said in a carefully controlled tone, “we will

discuss False Analogy①. Here is an example:

Students should be allowed to look at their

textbooks during examinations. After all, surgeons

①False Analogy：错误类比

analogy [əˈnælədʒi] n. 类比

力控制自己的火气。“下面，”我小心地压低声调说，“我们要讨论错误类比。这里有一个例子：应该允许学生考试时看课本。既然外科医生在做手术时可以看X光片，律师在审案时可以看案由，木匠在造房子时可以看蓝图，为什么学生在考试时不能看课本呢?”

“这个，”她满怀激情地说，“可是我多少年来听到的最好的主意。”

“波利，”我生气地说，“这种论点全错了。医生、律师和木匠并不是以参加考试的方式去测验他们所学的东西。学生们才是这样。情况完全不同，你不能在不同的情况之间进行类比”。

have X-rays to guide them during an operation,

lawyers have briefs② to guide them during a trial,

carpenters have blueprints③ to guide them when

②brief [brif] n. 诉讼摘要；辩护状

they are building a house. Why, then, shouldn’t

③blueprint [ˈbluˌprɪnt] n. (建筑或工程设计用的)蓝图

students be allowed to look at their textbooks

during an examination?”

“There now,” she said enthusiastically, “is

the most marvy idea I’ve heard in years.”

“Polly,” I said testily, “the argument is

all wrong. Doctors, lawyers, and carpenters aren’t

taking a test to see how much they have learned, but

students are. The situations are altogether

different, and you can’t make an analogy between

them.”

“I still think it’s a good idea,” said Polly.

“Nuts,” I muttered. Doggedly I pressed on.

“Next we’ll try Hypothesis Contrary① to Fact.”

“Sounds yummy②,” was Polly’s reaction.

“Listen: If Madame Curie had not happened to

leave a photographic plate in a drawer with a chunk③ of pitchblende④, the world today would not know

about radium.”

“True, true,” said Polly, nodding her head

“Did you see the movie? Oh, it just knocked⑤ me

out. That Walter Pidgeon is so dreamy. I mean he

fractures⑥ me.”

“我还是觉得这是个好主意，”波利说。

“咳!”我嘀咕着，但我还是执意地往下讲，“接下去我们试试与事实相反的假设吧。”

①Hypothesis Contrary to Fact：

与事实相反的假设

波利的反应是：“倒挺好。”

②yummy [ˈjʌmi] adj. [表示享受美味的象声词][口]美味的，可口的

等)

④pitchblende[ˈpɪtʃˌblɛnd] n. 沥青铀矿

⑤ knock out使高兴，使情绪激动

⑥fracture [ˈfræktʃɚ] v.[Am．slang]使着迷

“你听着：如果居里夫人不是碰巧把一里，那么世人今天就不会知道镭。”

“对，对，”波利点头称是。“你看过那部影片吗?哦，真好看。沃尔特·皮金演得太好了．我是说他让我着迷了。”

“如果你能暂时忘记皮金先生，”我冷冰冰地说，“我会愿意指出这种说法是错误的。也许居里夫人以后会发现镭的，也许由别人去发现，也许还会发生其他的事情。你不能从一个不实际的假设出发，从中得出任何可站得住脚的结论。”

③chunk [tʃʌŋk] n. 一厚块(肉、木头张照相底片放在装有一块沥清铀矿石的抽屉“If you can forget Mr. Pidgeon for a moment,”

I said coldly, “I would like to point out that

statement is a fallacy. Maybe Madame Curie would

have discovered radium at some later date. Maybe

somebody else would have discovered it. Maybe any

number of things would have happened. You can’t

start with a hypothesis that is not true and then

draw any supportable conclusions from it.”

“They ought to put Walter Pidgeon in more

pictures,” said Polly, “I hardly ever see him any

more.”

One more chance, I decided. But just one more.

There is a limit to what flesh and blood can bear.

“The next fallacy is called Poisoning① the

Well.”

“How cute!” she gurgled②.

“Two men are having a debate. The first one

gets up and says, ‘My opponent is notorious③ liar.

You can’t believe a word that he is going to

say.’ ... Now, Polly, think. Think hard. What’s

wrong?”

①Poisoning the Well：井下放毒

②gurgle [ˈɡə:ɡəl] v. (婴儿高兴时)发咯咯声

③notorious [noˈtɔriəs,-ˈtor-] adj. 声名狼藉的，臭名昭著的

“人们真应该让沃尔特皮金多拍些照片，”波利说，“我几乎再也看不到他了。”

我决定再试一次，但只能一次。一个人的忍耐毕竟是有限度的。我说：“下一个谬误叫做井下放毒。”

“多聪明啊!”她咯咯笑了起来。

“有两个人在进行一场辩论。第一个人站起来说：‘我的论敌是个劣迹昭彰的骗子。他所说的每一句话都不可信。’……波利，现在你想想，好好想一想。这句话错在哪里?”

她紧锁着眉头，我凝神地看着她。突然，一道智慧的光芒——这是我从未看到过的一一闪现在她的眼中。“这不公平，”她气愤地说，“一点都不公平。如果第一个人不等第二个人开口就说他是骗子，那么第二个人还有

I watched her closely as she knit her creamy

brow in concentration. Suddenly a glimmer of

intelligence—the first I had seen—came into her

eyes. “It’s not fair,” she said with indignation

④. “It’s not a bit fair. What chance has the

④indignation [ˌɪndɪɡˈneʃən] n. 愤慨，second man got if the first man calls him a liar

义愤

before he even begins talking?”

“Right!” I cried exultantly①. “One hundred

per cent right. It’s not fair. The first man

①exultant [ ɪɡˈzʌltn:t] v. 狂欢的；欣has

poisoned the well before anybody could drink

喜的；兴高采烈的

from it. He has hamstrung② his opponent before he

什么可说的呢?”

“对!”我高兴地叫了起来，“百分之百的对，是不公平。第一个人还不等别人喝到井水，就在井下放毒了。他还不等他的对手开口就已经 伤害了他。……波利，我真为你感到骄傲。”

她轻轻地“哼”了一声，高兴得脸郡发红了。

“你看，亲爱的，这些问题并不深奥，只要精力集中，就能对付。思考——分析—一判断。来，让我们把所学过的东西再复习一遍吧。”

could even start ... Polly, I’m proud of you.”

②hamstring [ˈhæmˌstrɪŋ] v. 割断…的“Pshaws,” she murmured, blushing with

pleasure.

腿腱以使残废；削弱(或破坏)…的力量(或功能)

“You see, my dear, these things aren’t so

hard. All you have to do is concentrate.

Think—examine—evaluate. Come now, let’s review

everything we have learned.”

“Fire away③,” she said with an airy wave of

her hand.

③fire away开始谈话或提问

“来吧，”她说着。把手往上一晃。

Heartened by the knowledge that Polly was not

altogether a cretin④, I began a long, patient

④cretin [ˈkritn] n. 愚侏病者；白痴， 看到波利并不那么傻，我的劲头上来review of all I had told her. Over and over and over

傻瓜

了。于是，我便开始把对她讲过的一切，长again I cited instances, pointed out flaws, kept

时间地、耐心地复习了一遍。我给她一个一hammering⑤ away without letup⑥. It was like

⑤hammering away (at) 一再强调

个地举出例子，指出其中的错误，不停地讲digging a tunnel. At first, everything was work,

⑥letup v. 放松(努力)；中止，休止

下去。就好比挖掘一条隧道，开始只有劳累、sweat, and darkness. I had no idea when I would reach the light, or even if I would. But I persisted. I

pounded and clawed and scraped, and finally I was

rewarded. I saw a chink① of light. And then the

chink got bigger and the sun came pouring in and all

was bright.

①chink [tʃɪŋk] n. 缝隙；裂口

汗水和黑暗，不知道什么时候能见到光亮，甚至还不知道能否见到光亮。但我坚持着，凿啊，挖啊，刮啊，终于得到了报偿。我见到了一线光亮，这光亮越来越大，终于阳光洒进来了，一切都豁然开朗了。

我辛辛苦苦地花了五个晚上，但总算还是没有白费，我使波利变成一个逻辑学家了，我教她学会了思考。我的任务完成了，她最终还是配得上我的。她会成为我贤慧的妻子，我那些豪华公馆里出色的女主人。我那些有良好教养的孩子们的合格的母亲。

不要以为我不爱这姑娘了，恰恰相反。正如皮格马利翁珍爱他自己塑造的完美的少女像一样，我也非常地爱我的波利。我决定下次会面时把自己的感情向她倾吐。该是把我们师生式的关系转化为爱情的时候了。

“波利，”当我们又坐在我们那棵橡树下时，我说。“今晚我们不再讨论谬误了。”

Five grueling② nights with this took, but it

was worth it. I had made a logician out of Polly;

②grueling [ˈɡruəlɪŋ, ˈɡrulɪŋ] adj. 折I had taught her to think. My job was done. She was

磨人的；使人筋疲力竭的

worthy of me, at last. She was a fit wife for me,

a proper hostess for my many mansions, a suitable

mother for my well-heeled③ children.

③well-heeled [ˈwɛlˈhild] adj. [俚]It must not be thought that I was without love

有钱的，富有的

for this girl. Quite the contrary. Just as Pygmalion

loved the perfect woman he had fashioned④, so I

loved mine. I decided to acquaint her with my

feelings at our very next meeting. The time had come

to change our relationship from academic to

romantic.

④fashion [ˈfæʃən] v. 塑造；做成

“Polly,” I said when next we sat beneath our

oak, “tonight we will not discuss fallacies.”

“Aw, gee,” she said, disappointed.

“My dear,” I said, favoring her with a smile,

“we have now spent five evenings together. We have

gotten along splendidly. It is clear that we are

well matched.”

“Hasty Generalization,” said Polly brightly.

“I beg your pardon,” said I.

“Hasty Generalization,” she repeated. “How

can you say that we are well matched on the basis

of only five dates?”

I chuckled with amusement. The dear child had

learned her lessons well. “My dear,” I said,

patting her hand in a tolerant manner, “five dates

is plenty. After all, you don’t have to eat a whole

cake to know that it’s good.”

“False Analogy,” said Polly promptly. “I’m

not a cake. I’m a girl.”

“怎么啦?”她失望地问道。

“亲爱的，”我友好地对她笑了笑，“我们已经一起度过了五个晚上，我们相处得很好。显然我们俩是很相配的。”

“草率结论，”波利伶俐地说。

“你是说…?”我问道。

“草率结论，”她重复了一遍。“你怎么能凭我们仅有的五次约会就说我们俩很相配呢?”

我咯咯一笑，觉得挺有意思。这可爱的小家伙功课学得可真不错。“亲爱的，”我耐心地拍打着她的手说，“五次约会就不少了，毕竟你不必把整个蛋糕吃下去才知道蛋糕的甜味。”

“错误类比，”波利敏捷地说。“我可不是蛋糕，我是个女孩子。”

chose the proper word. Then I began:

“Polly, I love you. You are the whole world to

me, the moon and the stars and the constellations

① of outer space. Please, my darling, say that you

will go steady with me, for if you will not, life

①constellation [ˌkɑnstəˈleʃən] n. 星座；星宿

will be meaningless. I will languish②. I will

refuse my meals. I will wander the face of the earth,

②languish [ˈlæŋɡwɪʃ] v. 变得萎靡不a shambling, hollow-eyed③ hulk.”

振；倦怠

③hollow-eyed [ˈhɔləuaid] adj. (由于生There, I thought, folding my arms, that ought

病或疲倦)眼窝凹陷的，有黑眼圈的

to do it.

I chuckled with somewhat less amusement. The

dear child had learned her lessons perhaps too well.

I decided to change tactics. Obviously the best

approach was a simple, strong, direct declaration

of love. I paused for a moment while my massive brain

我微微一笑，但这次不感到那么有意思了。这可爱的孩子功课或许是学得太好了。我决定改变策略。显然，最好的办法就是态度明朗，直接了当地向她表示爱。我沉默了一会儿，用我特别发达的脑袋挑选着合适的词句。然后我便开始说：

“波利，我爱你。对我来说，你就是整个世界，是月亮，是星星，是整个宇宙。我亲爱的，请说你爱我吧。如果你不这样，我的生活就失去意义了。我将会萎靡不振，茶不饮，饭不思，到处游荡，成为一个步履蹒跚、双眼凹下的躯壳。”

我交叉着双手站在那里，心想这下子可打动了她。

“文不对题，”波利说。

我咬咬牙。我不是皮格马利翁，我是弗兰肯斯坦，我的喉咙似乎一下子让魔鬼卡住了。我极力地控制涌上心头的阵阵痛楚。无论怎样，我电要保持冷静。

“Ad Misericordiam,” said Polly.

I ground my teeth. I was not Pygmalion; I was

Frankenstein, and my monster had me by the throat.

Frantically I fought back the tide of panic

surging① through me; at all costs I had to keep

①surge[sɚdʒ] v. 汹涌澎湃

cool.

“Well, Polly,” I said, forcing a smile, “you

certainly have learned your fallacies.”

“You’re darn right,” she said with a

vigorous nod.

“And who taught them to you, Polly?”

“You did.”

“That’s right. So you do owe me something,

don’t you, my dear? If I hadn’t come along you

never would have learned about fallacies.”

“Hypothesis Contrary to Fact,” she said

instantly.

I dashed perspiration② from my brow.

②perspiration [ˌpə:spəˈreʃən] n. 汗

“好了，波利，”我强装着笑脸说，“这些谬误你的确已学到家了。”

“这可说得很对，”她使劲地点了点头说道。

“可是波利，这一切是谁教给你的?”

“你教的嘛。”

“是的，那你得感谢我呀。是吗，亲爱的?要是我不和你在一起，你永远也不会学到这些谬误的”。

“与事实相反的假设，”波利不加思索地说着。

我摔掉了额前的汗珠。“波利，”我用嘶哑的声音说道，“你不要死板地接受这些东西。我是说那只是课堂上讲的东西。你知道学校学的东西与现实生活毫不相关。”

“Polly,” I croaked, “you mustn’t take all these

things so literally. I mean this is just classroom

stuff. You know that the things you learn in school

“Dicto Simpliciter,” she said, wagging① her

①wag [wæɡ] v. 摇摆。摇动

finger at me playfully.

don’t have anything to do with life.”

“绝对判断，”她说道，嬉戏地向我摇摇指头。

这一下可使我恼火了。我猛地跳了起来，像公牛似地吼叫着，“你到底想不想跟我相爱?”

“我不想，”她答道。

“为什么不想?”我追问着。

“因为今天下午我答应了皮蒂伯奇，我愿意和他相爱。”

我被皮蒂这一无耻的行径气得一阵晕眩，情不自禁地向后退去。皮蒂答应了我，跟我成了交，还跟我握了手呢!“这个可耻的家伙!”我尖着嗓子大叫，把一块块草皮踢了起来。“你不能跟他在一起，波利。他是一个说谎的人，一个骗子，一个可耻的家伙!”

“井下放毒，”波利说。“别叫嚷了，我认为大声叫嚷就是一种谬误。”

That did it. I leaped to my feet, bellowing②

②bellow [ˈbælo] v. (由于愤怒或疼like a bull. “Will you or will you not go steady

痛)大声叫

with me?”

“I will not,” she replied.

“Why not?” I demanded.

“Because this afternoon I promised Petey

Bellows that I would go steady with him.”

I reeled③ back, overcome with the infamy④ of

it. After he promised, after he made a deal, after

he shook my hand! “The rat!” I shrieked, kicking

up great chunks of turf⑤. “You can’t go with him,

Polly. He’s a liar. He’s a cheat. He’s a rat.”

③reel [ril] v. 倒退，退缩；站立不稳

④infamy [ˈɪnfəmi] n. 臭名昭著；丢脸，耻辱；不名誉

⑤turf [tɝf] n. 草皮；草地

“Poisoning the Well ,” said Polly, “and stop

shouting. I think shouting must be a fallacy too.”

With an immense effort of will, I modulated①

我以极大的意志力把语气缓和下来。“好①modulate [ˈmɑdʒəˌlet] v. 使（声音）my voice. “All right,” I said. “You’re a

吧，”我说，“你是一个逻辑学家。那就让我转调，是声音变低

logician. Let’s look at this thing logically. How

们从逻辑上来分析这件事吧。你怎么会看得

could you choose Petey Bellows over me? Look at

中皮蒂，而看不起我呢?你瞧我一个才华横溢

me—a brilliant student, a tremendous

的学生，一个了不起的知识分子，一个前途

intellectual, a man with an assured future. Look at

②knothead ['nɒthed] n. 笨蛋，痂汉

无量的人；而皮蒂——一个笨蛋，一个反复Petey—a knothead②, a jitterbug③, a guy who’ll

③jitterbug

[ˈdʒɪtɚˌbʌɡ]

无常的人，一个吃了上顿不知有没有下顿的never know where his next meal is coming from. Can

n.(尤指20世纪40年代的)吉特巴家伙。你能给我一个合乎逻辑的理由来说明you give me one logical reason why you should go

舞；[喻]变化无常的人

你为什么要跟皮蒂好吗?”

steady with Petey Bellows?”

“I certainly can,” declared Polly. “He’s

got a raccoon coat.”

“当然能，”波利肯定地说。“他有一件浣熊皮大衣。”