2024年5月3日发(作者：戴尔笔记本怎么看型号配置)

Shame 羞耻

Who felt ashamed? And ashamed of 谁感到羞愧？什么使他羞愧？为

what? Why did the narrator write 什么作者要描写他对这个小女孩青涩

about his calf love for the little 的暗恋？爱与自卑之间到底有什么联

girl? What’s the relationship 系？理解了这些，你将找到这个故事的

between love and shame? Having 主题。 （48）

understood these, you will have got

the key to this story.

（48）

I never learned hate at home, or 我在家从未有过憎恶感、羞耻感，

shame. I had to go to school for 而自从去了学校，我就有了这样的感

that. I was about seven years old 受。记得大约7岁那年，我得到了一次

when I got my first big lesson. I was 深刻的教训。那时，我喜欢上一个叫海

in love with a little girl named 琳·塔克的小女孩，她肤色白皙，扎着

Helene Tucker, a light-complexioned 马尾辫，举止也很优雅。她在校总是衣

little girl with pigtails and nice 着整洁，成绩优异。我觉得我去学校主

manners. She was always clean and 要是为了看她。我会梳理好自己的头发

she was smart in school. I think I 并带上一块旧的小手帕。尽管这手帕是

went to school then mostly to look 一个妇人的，可我却不想让海琳看到我

at her. I brushed my hair and even 用手擦鼻涕的样子。天很冷，水管再次

got me a little old handkerchief. It 冰冻，尽管家里没有水，但我仍会在每

was a lady’s handkerchief, but I 天晚上清洗我的袜子和衬衣。我会拿上

didn’t want Helene to see me wipe 一个罐子去本先生的食品杂货店，将它

my nose on my hand. The pipes were 放在苏打水冷藏柜下面，然后掏出一些

frozen again, there was no water in 冰块放在里面。到了晚上，我就可以用

the house, but I washed my socks and 那些冰块化成的水来洗衣服。那年冬天

shirt every night. I’d get a pot, 我常常生病，因为在夜晚炉火会在衣服

and go over to Mister Ben’s grocery 烘干之前熄灭。到第二天早晨，不管那

store, and stick my pot down into his 衣服是湿还是干，我都会穿上，因为那

soda machine. Scoop out some chopped 是我唯一的衣服。

ice. By evening the ice melted to

water for washing. I got stick a lot

that winter because the fire would

go out at night before the clothes

were dry. In the morning I’d put

them on, wet or dry, because they

were the only clothes I had.

Everybody’s got a Helene 每个人的心中都有一个海琳·塔

Tucker, a symbol of everything you 克，她就是你所想的一切优点的代表。

want. I loved her for her goodness, 我喜欢她，因为她善良、整洁、人缘好。

her cleanness, her popularity. 如果她走在我回家的路上，我的兄弟姐

She’d walk down my street and my 妹就会大声叫道“海琳来了”，然后我

brothers and sisters would yell, 会将网球鞋的鞋面在裤脚上擦几下，希

“Here comes Helene,” and I’d rub 望我的头发不那么凌乱，普通的白色衬

my tennis sneakers on the back of my 衫更加服帖。接着就冲到路上，如果我

pants and wish my hair wasn’t so 知趣的话，便不会走得太近，这时她就

nappy and the white folks’ shirt 会向我眨眼并问好。那是一种很不错的

fit me better. I’d run out on the 感觉。有时候，我会一直跟在她后面走，

street. If I knew my place and 铲去路上的积雪，并试图和她的妈妈、

didn’t come too close, she’d wink 阿姨做朋友。晚上，我会在从小旅馆擦

at me and say hello. That was a good 鞋回来的路上将钱放在她家的门阶上。

feeling. Sometimes I’d follow her 她有个爸爸，工作不错，是个糊墙纸工。

all the way home, and shovel the snow （47）

off her walk and try to make friends

with her Momma and her aunts. I’d

drop my money on her stoop late at

night on my way back from shining

shoes in the taverns. And she had a

Daddy, and he had a good job. He was

a paper hanger.

（47）

I guess I would have gotten over 我猜想到夏天我便会把海琳忘却，

Helene by summertime, but something 但是22年以来，在那间教室发生的事

happened in that classroom that made 情，使她的面孔在我脑海里挥之不去。

her face hang in front of me for the 我为了她，在高中参加击鼓活动，在大

next twenty-two years. When I played 学打破了某项记录。甚至当我站在台上

the drums in high school it was for 的麦克风边上听到掌声时，我也是希望

Helene and when I broke track 她能够听到这些的。一直到22岁，我

records in college it was for Helene 结婚了，工作赚钱了，她才终于从我的

and when I started standing behind 生命中淡去，不再影响我。当我为自己

microphones and heard applause I 感到羞愧时，海琳就坐在那间教室里。

wished Helene could hear it, too. It

wasn’t until I was twenty-nine

years old and married and making

money that I finally got her out of

my system. Helene was sitting in

that classroom when I learned to be

ashamed of myself.

It was on a Thursday. I was 那个周四，我坐在教室的后面的位

sitting in the back of the room, in 子上，座位周围被人用粉笔画了个圈，

a seat with a chalk circle drawn 代表这儿坐着的是个白痴，是个麻烦制

around it. The idiot’s seat, the 造者。

trouble-maker’s seat.

The teacher thought I was 老师认为我是个笨蛋。我不会拼

stupid. Couldn’t spell, couldn’t 写，不会朗读，不会算术。我就是个笨

read, couldn’t do arithmetic. Just 蛋 ！老师从来不会花心思去注意到你

stupid. Teachers were never 因为没有吃早饭因为肚子很饿而没有