2024年3月31日发(作者：)

Table Manners: a Cultural Difference

For many Westerners, the Chinese dinner table is terra incognita([拉]未发现的

地域). There are no forks or knives for the Westerners to use. The Chinese host

makes great, sweeping（大范围的）arm movements that go over large sections of the

table passing over both food and friends alike. The scene is fantastic, but it leaves

many foreigners at a loss for what to do. In most Western restaurants and homes there

are rules about how to talk, eat and sit that are highly restrictive, and they create an

atmosphere that is completely different from what we find here in China. In my

childhood home, dinner was enjoyed with hushe voices, and the topics open for

discussion were very much restricted. We were not allowed to bring up anything that

was potentially unappetizing; body functions（上洗手间）, bugs, murder and mayhem

（使人肢体伤残的行为）in general were all strictly forbidden topics. If I had to leave

the table to use the toilet, I had to verbally excuse myself without mentioning what it

was that I was going to do. "May I be excused, please? I need to wash my hands." I

would say. My mother would say, "Sure." My father would often play a joke on us by

saying, "Your hands don't look dirty to me!"

As for eating, we did it quietly. No eating noises were allowed.

Everything must be done as quietly as possible. Therefore, we had to eat with our

mouths closed. To make a "smacking" noise was, perhaps, the worst offence possible.

While drinking soup or coffee or wine "slurping"（咕嘟咕嘟地喝）was also forbidden.

If any sound whatever was created by our intake of food or beverage（饮料）, it

constituted bad manners! With that in mind, it was, of course, unthinkable to speak

with one's mouth full of food, so speaking only occurred before or after one had taken

in food and swallowed it.

How one sits at the table is also prescribed. One is to sit up straight with the

recessive hand (usually the left) in one's lap holding a napkin while the dominant

hand (usually the right) holds the fork or spoon. The only time one is allowed to have

both hands on the table is when one is using a knife to cut something, but as soon as

the cut-ting is done, the recessive hand goes back to the lap. Also, elbows are not

al-lowed on the table. Therefore, one props the arm against the edge of the table just

below the elbow. One should never reach for any food on the table; one should ask

someone sitting near it to give it to you. "Would you please pass the potatoes?" "May

I trouble you for the salt?" These are phrases that you are likely to hear on any given

night of the week at a family dinner.

When a guest comes from the West to enjoy a meal with you, it would be a good

idea for you to explain to your guest what will happen at dinner and to find out if a

fork would be easier to use than chopsticks. In my time in China, I have come to

enjoy Chinese table manners far more than those prescribed by my own culture, but

for many it is impossible to adjust. The best policy is to ask your guest questions to

find out what he or she is comfort-able with.