2024年3月9日发(作者：)

U2 A

A child's clutter awaits an adult's return

儿时百宝箱老大归家梦

I watch her back her new truck out of the driveway. The vehicle is too large, too

expensive. She'd refused to consider a practical car with good gas efficiency and

easy to park. It's because of me, I think. She bought it to show me that she could.

我看着她在车道上倒着她的新卡车。车太大，而且太贵。她就是不肯意考虑买辆开起

来省油、停起来省心的实用型汽车。我想，原因在我。她买这辆车就是为了让我看看她的

能耐。

"I'm 18," she'd told me so often that my teeth ached. "I am an adult!"

“我 18 岁了，”她常常这样对我说，以至于听得我牙都疼了。“我是成年人了！”

I thought, is that true? Just yesterday you watched some cartoons. What

changed between yesterday and today?

我心想，真的吗？昨天你还在看动画片呢。今天和昨天又能有多大的转变？

Today she's gone, off to be an adult far away from me. I'm glad she's gone. It

means she made it, and that I'm finally free of 18 years of responsibilities. And yet I

wonder if she could take good care of herself.

今天她走了，远离我去寻求成年人的独立。我很高兴她离开了。这意味着她成功了，

而我也终于可以从 18 年的责任中脱身了。可是我仍是担忧她能不能照顾好自己。

She left a mess. Her bathroom is an embarrassment of damp towels, rusted

shaving blades, hair in the sink, and nearly empty tubes of toothpaste. I bring a

box of big black garbage bags upstairs. Eye shadow, face cream, nail polish - all go

into the trash. I dump drawers, sweep shelves clear and clean the sink. When I am

finished, it is as neat and impersonal as a hotel bathroom.

她留下的是一片狼藉。她的洗手间真是凌乱不堪，有没拧干的毛巾，有生锈的剃刀片，

散落在面盆里的头发，还有几支快挤空了的牙膏。我拿了一盒大号的黑色垃圾袋上了楼。

眼影、面霜、指甲油——这些通通扔进垃圾袋。我把抽屉清空，把架子打扫干净，还把面

盆擦洗干净。我打扫完后，洗手间就像酒店里的那样井井有条，丝毫没有人情味儿。

In her bedroom I find mismatched socks under her bed and purple pants on

the closet floor. Desk drawers are filled with school papers, filed by year and

subject.

在她的卧室里，我发现床下有不配对的袜子，壁橱底板上扔着紫色的裤子。书桌的抽

屉里尽是学校的卷子，依照年份和科目归了类。

I catch myself reading through poems and essays, admiring high scores on

tests and reading her name, printed or typed neatly in the upper right-hand corner

of each paper. I pack the desk contents into a box. Six months, I think. I will give her

six months to collect her belongings, and then I will throw them all away. That is