2024年4月13日发(作者：)

大学毕业找工作的第一要

义：别躺在沙发上做梦

今年夏天，超过65 万的大学

生毕业离校，其中有许多人

根本不知道怎么找工作。在

当今金融危机的背景下，做

父母的该如何激励他们？

Looking for a job after university?

First, get off the sofa

More than 650,000 students left

university this summer and many

have no idea about the way to get

a job. How tough should a parent be

to galvanize them in these

financially fraught times?

In July, you looked on as your

儿子穿上学士袍，戴上四方

handsome 21-year-old son, dressed

帽，骄傲地握着优等学士学

in gown and mortar board, proudly

位证书，拍 毕业照。这时，

clutched his honors degree for his

记忆中每年支付几千英镑，

graduation photo. Those memories

好让儿子吃好、并能偶尔参

of forking out thousands of pounds

加聚会的记忆开始消退。但

a year so that he could eat well and

现 在，你又不得不再考虑钱

go to the odd party began to fade.

的问题。

Until now.

七月，你看着英俊的21 岁的

As the summer break comes to a close

地的学生正在为新学期做准

and students across the country

备的时候，你却发现大学毕

prepare for the start of a new term,

业的儿子还 歪躺在沙发上

you find that your graduate son is

看电视。除此之外，他只是

still spending his days slumped in

偶尔发发短信，浏览社交网

front of the television, broken

站Facebook，或者去酒吧喝

only by texting, Facebook and

酒。 这位属于“千禧一代”

visits to the pub. This former

的年青人一夜之间变成了

scion of Generation Y has morphed

“抱怨一代”的成员。他能

overnight into a member of

找到工作吗？

Generation Grunt. Will he ever get

a job?

等到暑假快要结束，全国各

This is the scenario facing

的状况：今年夏天，65 万多

thousands of families. More than

大学生毕业，在当今金融危

650,000 students left university

机的背景下， 他们中的大多

this summer and most in these

数人不知道自己下一步该做

financially testing times have no

什么。父母只会唠叨，而儿

idea what to do next. Parents

女们则毫无缘由地变成了叛

revert to nagging; sons and

逆 者。他们知道自己该找份

daughters become rebels without a

工作，但却不知道如何去找。

cause, aware that they need to get

这就是成千上万家庭所面临

a job, but not sure how.

来自米德尔塞克斯郡的杰

克·古德温今年夏天从诺丁

汉大学政治学系毕业，获得

二级一等荣誉 学士学位。他

走进大学就业服务中心，但

又径直走了出来，因为他看

见很多人在那里排长队。跟

他一 起住的另外5 个男孩

子也都跟他一样，进去又出

来了。找工作的压力不大，

虽然他认识的大多数女生都

有更明确的计划

他说：“我申请政治学研究工

Jack Goodwin, from Middlesex,

graduated with a 2:1 in politics

from Nottingham this summer. He

walked into the university careers

service and straight back out

again; there was a big queue. He

lived with five other boys all of

whom did the same. There was no

pressure to find a job, even though

most of the girls he knew had a

clearer plan.

“I applied for a job as a political

作，但被拒绝了。他们给的

researcher, but got turned down,”

年薪是1 万8 千镑，交完房

he says. “They were paying

租后所剩无 几，也就够买一

£18,000, which doesn't buy you much

罐豆子，可他们还要有研究

more than a tin of beans after rent,

经历或硕士学位的人。然后

but they wanted people with

我又申请参加快速晋升人才

experience or masters degrees.

培 养计划，并通过了笔试。

Then I applied for the Civil

但在面试时，他们说我‘太

Service fast stream. I passed the

冷漠’了，谈吐‘太像专家

exam, but at the interviews they

政治论者’。我觉得 自己不

accused me of being ‘too detached'

可能那样，但我显然就是那

and talking in language that was

样的。”

‘too technocratic', which I

didn't think possible, but

obviously it is.”

Since then he has spent the summer

“隐身”。 他能够轻松地复

“hiding”. He can recount several

述出电视剧《交通警察》中

episodes of Traffic Cops and has

的若干片段。 他白天看电视

seen more daytime television than

的时间太长，已经到了影响

is healthy. He talks to his friends

健康的地步。跟朋友谈起自

about his aimless days and finds

己漫无目标的日子时，他才

that most are in the same boat. One

发现 他们的处境和自己一

has been forced out to stack

样。一位朋友在父母的逼迫

shelves by his parents. For the

下去超市上货，其余的则都

rest it is 9-to-5 “chilling”

是朝九晚五地“无所 事事”，

before heading to the pub. So how

晚上则去酒吧喝酒打发时

about working behind the bar, to

间。要么，干脆就在酒吧工

pay for those drinks? “I don't

作？这样还可以挣些酒钱。

want to do bar work. I went to a

“我不想在酒吧工作。我上

comprehensive and I worked my

的是综合学校，我拼命读书

backside off to go to a good

才考上了一所好大学。到了

university, where I worked really

打那以后，他整个夏天都在

大学，我又埋头苦读，才取

得一个好学位。可现在我却

跟那些没上过大学的做无聊

的酒吧侍应的朋友处在同一

个水平线上。我觉得自己好

像兜了一圈，又回到了原来

的起点。”

他的母亲杰奎琳·古德温替

hard to get a good degree,” he

says. “Now I'm back at the same

stage as those friends who didn't

go to uni at all, who are pulling

pints and doing deadend jobs. I

feel that I've come full circle.”

Jacqueline Goodwin, his mother,

他辩护。她坚持认为她的儿

defends him. She insists that he

子已经尽力了。因为她自己

has tried to get a job, but having

中学毕业后 一直都在工作，

worked full-time since leaving

所以她和她的丈夫发现，建

school herself, she and her husband

议儿子如何继续找工作是件

find it tricky to advise him on how

很棘手的事情。她说，“我 一

to proceed. “I have always had to

直都不得不工作。而现在的

work,” she says. “It's difficult

年青人很难做到这一点，因

because when you have a degree, it

为如果你有了学位，学位就

opens new doors for you, or you'd

会为你提供新 的机会，至少

like to think that it does.”

你自己会这么想。”

Although she is taking a soft line

比较温和，但是她心里很清

with her son at the moment, she is

楚，去南美度三星期的假之

clear that after an upcoming

后，他的休假 就该结束了。

three-week trip to South America,

他可能还得付房租，并分担

his holiday from work will have to

家庭开支。

end. He may even have to pay rent

and contribute to the household

bills.

虽然现在她对儿子的态度还

心理治她说，“在某个时候孩

子们总要长大成人。我们已

经帮他交了大学的学费，所

以他也该给我们一点点回报

了。南美度假就是一个分水

岭，他回来以后如果找不到

工作，那就圣诞节打零工好

了。”

心理理疗师盖尔·林登费尔

德是《情感康复策略》的作

者。她说古德温夫妇的做法

是很恰当的。 从大学到工作

的转换对父母和孩子来说都

“They've got to grow up at some

point. We've finished paying for

university, so a little bit of help

back is good,” she says. “The

South America trip is the cut-off

point. When he comes back there'll

be Christmas work if nothing

else.”

Gael Lindenfield, a

psychotherapist and the author of

The Emotional Healing Strategy,

says that the Goodwin parents have

struck exactly the right note. The

很艰难，关键是父母要在支

持理解孩子和不溺爱孩子之

间找 到一个平衡点。

transition from university to a job

is tough for parents and children:

crucially they must balance being

positive and understanding with

not making life too comfortable for

their offspring.

“The main job for the parent is to

孩子，如果他们教导孩子该

be there because if they start

如何做，那么就会引起矛

advising them what to do, that is

盾，”她说。“如 果有熟人，

when the conflict starts. If you

一定要找他们想办法。但很

have contacts, by all means use

多父母心太软了。必须限制

those,” she says. “But a lot of

孩子的零花钱，要求他们交

parents get too soft. Put limits on

房租， 或分担日常生活或养

how much money you give them, ask

宠物的开销。父母要维持正

them to pay rent or contribute to

常的生活，不要让孩子随便

the care of the house or the pets.

用你们的银行账户或者榨干

Carry on life as normal and don't

你们的情感能量。”

allow them to abuse your bank

account or sap your reserves of

emotional energy.”

“父母的主要任务就是支持

Paying for career consultations,

试交通费及书费是好事，但

train fares to interviews or books

不能催得太紧。林登费尔德

are good things; being too pushy is

建议：虽说父 母不能太宽

not. But while parents should be

容，但是如果孩子找工作遇

wary of becoming too soft,

到了挫折，父母应该体谅他

Lindenfield advises them to tread

们，宽容他们几天甚至几周

sympathetically after a job

——这 取决于他们受打击

setback for a few days or even weeks

的程度。等他们缓过来之后，

- depending on the scale of the

父母就该坚决要求孩子继续

knock. After that the son or

求职。

daughter needs to be nudged firmly

back into the saddle.

为孩子支付职业咨询费、面

男孩更容易窝在家里。林登

费尔德相信男人比母亲和姐

妹更容易帮助儿子、侄子或

朋友的儿子。 她说，由于男

人和女人处理挫折的方式不

同，所以男孩需要跟男人谈

话才能度过难关。

Boys are more likely to get stuck

at home. Lindenfield believes that

men are often better at helping

their sons, nephews, or friends'

sons than are mothers and sisters.

Men have a different way of

handling setbacks than women, she

says, so they need the male

presence to talk it through.

林登费尔德强烈支持去酒吧

打工：那是克服毕业冷漠症

的一剂良方。这工作好不好

要取决于你 如何看待它。就

是在酒吧打工的时候，林登

费尔德找到了她的第一份当

航拍助手的工作。她说在酒

吧 工作是拓展人际关系的

绝好机会，肯定比赖在家里

看电视更容易找到工作。

As for bar work, she is a passionate

advocate: it's a great antidote to

graduate apathy. It just depends on

how you approach it. Lindenfield,

who found her first job as an aerial

photographic assistant through bar

work, says it is a great networking

opportunity and certainly more

likely to get you a job than

lounging in front of the TV.

“The same goes for

如果干得好，你就会被人发

shelf-stacking. You will be

现的。如果你聪明、活泼，

spotted if you're good at it. If

礼貌待客， 你很快就会升

you're bright and cheerful and are

职。所以，把它看作是机会。

polite to the customers, you'll

那些最终成功的人士很多都

soon get moved on. So think of it

有在超市上货的经历。”

as an opportunity; people who are

successful in the long run have

often got shelf-stacking

stories,” she says.

她说：“在超市上货也一样。

你的儿女可能不会干好莱坞

影星们干过的活，比如像乌

比·戈德堡那样去停尸房给

死人化妆， 或者像布鲁

斯·威利斯那样在核电站当

警卫，但即便是布拉德·皮

特也曾经不得不穿上宽大的

小鸡 模样的服装站在快餐

连锁店El Pollo Loco 的门

口招揽生意。他们中没有一

个人因为这些经历而变得更

加穷困。

Your son or daughter may not want

to follow Hollywood stars such as

Whoopi Goldberg into applying

make-up to corpses in a mortuary,

or guarding nuclear power plants

like Bruce Willis, but even Brad

Pitt had to stand outside El Pollo

Loco restaurant chain in a giant

chicken suit at one time in his

life. None of them appears the

poorer for these experiences.